I Kings 10:1-29
1. List some of the "hard questions" you'd bring to the wisest man on earth.
On my own I am not a natural deep thinker, though when I was young I did ask my mom what it meant to be alive and she thought I was a bit crazy, but I do struggle with God. I think of it a lot like Jacob's wrestling match. Most of the question I ask are the same as this atheist blog and I feel very weak in my faith when I look these over from time to time. One of my BIGGEST is the question- do people who never hear the gospel, can they be saved and if not, why not? It doesn't seem at all fair. Why does the Bible have so many contradictions? (I don't understand how Christians can say there aren't any.) Why didn't God literally write the Bible? Why is the Bible so hard to understand? Why is there so much violence in the Bible- what does that even mean or teach us? If Satan is so bad why did God create him and why doesn't he get a like twist reward in the end for being the one who caused Jesus to have to save the world in the first place? Just a few questions any way.
2. As you've grown in your faith, have some of your hard questions or seeming contradictions grown less important to you? Why or why not?
They have become less important to me because I just trust that it will all be explained in the end and even if it isn't explained and this was all for nothing- then at least I tried and at least I lived for someone and something and not just for myself. If I were brave enough to become an atheist or agnostic (which I don't believe I ever could be) I don't understand how you can logically care for people without God unless caring for them caused me to get my way most of the time. To me, it would be illogical.
3. Spend some time telling God all that you have on your mind. Then listen to what he has on his.
God, You cause me to think of a bundle of contradictions. You know I want to give my heart, life, and mind to you. I love you and I wish I could be this special person others claim I am, but your word doesn't give me as much comfort as I could hope for. A lot doesn't make sense exactly. But I like to think of myself as a baby or maybe a young toddler and you are my parent. I may not understand the bigger picture of why mommy or daddy told me not to touch the stove or what it means to be married but I will trust YOU God that what you are telling me will make sense- some day. Okay, I am ready to listen.
2 Chronicles 8:1-11 (this passage wasn't my reading today but it was in the middle of my 2 Chronicles 9 reading- I thought might as well if I have the time)
1. How do your unbelieving friends and family affect your attitude toward God?
They make me wish I could be so brave sometimes. I question. But to be honest I don't have many unbelieving friends.
2. What are some concrete ways you can keep holy what is holy, while still honoring and respecting the unbelievers you love?
Honestly I don't really know. I just be kind. I don't ever want to pressure someone into believing. I honestly don't care if you believe or not, I just want to be your friend and hear your thoughts. Let's just try really hard not to hurt each other either physically or emotionally.
3. Think about the burden you feel toward a spouse or loved one who wants nothing to do with the Lord. Spend time in prayer, giving your anxieties and grief about them to God.
OK
Wednesday, June 21, 2017
Tuesday, June 20, 2017
Ecclesiastes 1-6
Well it looks like I never finished and barely started the last study....life happens and things change. I am actually surprised I am writing right now because I am on a missions trip in John Day, OR. Rarely do I even allow myself the luxury of a computer let alone the time to write about heart felt things. I realize that most of what I write is a jumbled mess of me pouring out my mind- it is what keeps me sane and, trust me, you want me to be sane. I could also be accused of being reclusive and stand offish but I am old enough to be okay with that- pretty much- though I often wonder if I don't have some type of social anxiety and wonder if there is a way to treat it. In any case I am going off topic.
I have been able to keep up my Bible reading though not in my preferred method aka getting up early and reading every day as opposed to waiting three days or more and having to wait till Sunday (when all the kids are in Sunday school) for me to catch up. But obviously that means I don't really have time for thoughts or to answer the questions. Today I will try to get on track, but just for today, no promises for tomorrow or any other days this year.
Oh joy! I read Ecclesiastes today- please, realize the sarcasm. It is all meaningless....meaningless I say!
1. In what ways have you chased after something but found it meaningless?
To get a sense of this question I went to look up the word meaningless and what that meant to the author of Ecclesiastes (probably Solomon). Basically life doesn't make sense. I hear you there! I guess the one big thing that I can think of in my own life that I chase that feels meaningless is a big one- raising children. It sometimes seems like no matter how hard you try and how much you worry they will do whatever they feel like regardless of what you say and try to discipline them. At the end of the day- do you really have something to show for how hard you feel you worked? The answer appears to be a definite- maybe.
2. What are some things "in you own backyard" that bring you joy?
Reading and writing about what I read- it is what gives me the most joy. I feel like it is something that comes from my own backyard. I don't have to stress about it much. I don't feel like I am chasing the wind.
3. When have you experienced a time of real contentment?
For me, contentment is being able to keep the kitchen clean in a reasonable amount of time and trying to keep to lose flexible schedule without big bumps (arguments, excessive laziness). Also if there is food involved I am pretty content person.
I have been able to keep up my Bible reading though not in my preferred method aka getting up early and reading every day as opposed to waiting three days or more and having to wait till Sunday (when all the kids are in Sunday school) for me to catch up. But obviously that means I don't really have time for thoughts or to answer the questions. Today I will try to get on track, but just for today, no promises for tomorrow or any other days this year.
Oh joy! I read Ecclesiastes today- please, realize the sarcasm. It is all meaningless....meaningless I say!
1. In what ways have you chased after something but found it meaningless?
To get a sense of this question I went to look up the word meaningless and what that meant to the author of Ecclesiastes (probably Solomon). Basically life doesn't make sense. I hear you there! I guess the one big thing that I can think of in my own life that I chase that feels meaningless is a big one- raising children. It sometimes seems like no matter how hard you try and how much you worry they will do whatever they feel like regardless of what you say and try to discipline them. At the end of the day- do you really have something to show for how hard you feel you worked? The answer appears to be a definite- maybe.
2. What are some things "in you own backyard" that bring you joy?
Reading and writing about what I read- it is what gives me the most joy. I feel like it is something that comes from my own backyard. I don't have to stress about it much. I don't feel like I am chasing the wind.
3. When have you experienced a time of real contentment?
For me, contentment is being able to keep the kitchen clean in a reasonable amount of time and trying to keep to lose flexible schedule without big bumps (arguments, excessive laziness). Also if there is food involved I am pretty content person.
Sunday, March 26, 2017
Chapter 1 The Amateurs (Study Guide)
PERSONAL STUDY RESPONSE FOR FRESH WIND, FRESH FIRE
This appears to be an inspirational story of a pastor, his wife, and their church and how it grew. Jim Cymbala began pastoring a church in Brooklyn with only about 20 members, but he listened to God's call to pray and seek and He would grow the church. One of the first challenges addressed in this book was a financial problem. They could not pay their mortgage. But God provides with a mysterious donation of $100. This prepared Jim and Carol (his wife) to expect great and miraculous things from God.
I loved the part where Jim realizes that God is attracted to weakness. Jim said, "I discovered an astonishing truth: God is attracted to weakness. He can't resist those who humbly and honestly admit they desperately need Him." God chooses the foolish things of the world to confound the wise. I have certainly seen this to be true in my life. I am nothing if not weak and foolish. Only God is the reason I wake up to keep the faith and to try things that continually fail. When we pretend, it grieves God's Spirit. He has amazing power. He can not show His power through someone who boasts or is proud. It doesn't work out well for us. If we think we are the reason for success then we will not be able to accept His grace and His gifts. When we humble ourselves God will lift us up- James 4:10. He gives us things we could not have imagined. He wants us to live without anxiety and fear, and being humble brings us closer to that step.
I have told this story before but it never gets old. I have had to depend totally on the Lord and His provision when I was being about to be sued for failing to pay off my loans which had risen to astronomical unrealistic payments. I didn't know what was going to happen. I didn't have a job and I didn't have anything of real value that could be taken. I was living in constant stress and anxiety while trying to nurse a month old baby. I was barely eating so she wasn't doing well either. Through God and MANY prayers (I knew people were praying for me) I was able to step up and went to every bank I could to apply for a personal loan to cover half the loan- that is what they were willing to settle for- the amount was for a little more then $28, 000. I had to humbly ask my mother-in-law to let us borrow from her line of credit ($10,000) and then have her cosign for the rest. It took about a month before we were able to find a bank willing to loan us some money. Every time the phone rang I wanted to throw up, cry, run away, hide, pull out my hair- my heart would leap into my throat- it was the worst feeling. Only God put all the pieces together. Without going through this I might have been tempted to think I could do everything on my own.
God sometimes makes what He will do for us conditional on our hunger for Him because He doesn't want robots serving Him. He wants us to choose to love Him, praise Him, serve Him. If He forced us to love Him it wouldn't be love. "If my people who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sins and I will heal their land." II Chronicles 7:14. God wants us to be aware that we have a CHOICE. We all have a choice.
Prayer is important. God wants to hear from us. When we don't know what to pray the Holy Spirit speaks for us and that is how we can see the Spirit working. As I have gotten older prayer has become harder- not easier. I am not sure why. My prayers are mostly groanings and confusion. When I pray for the church it reminds me of those in need and the Spirit leads me to think of practical ways I can help. I am trusting God to give me opportunities to strengthen my prayer life.
In closing, this is the start of an inspirational story that I think will stick with me. Hopefully I am prepared for the long haul.
This appears to be an inspirational story of a pastor, his wife, and their church and how it grew. Jim Cymbala began pastoring a church in Brooklyn with only about 20 members, but he listened to God's call to pray and seek and He would grow the church. One of the first challenges addressed in this book was a financial problem. They could not pay their mortgage. But God provides with a mysterious donation of $100. This prepared Jim and Carol (his wife) to expect great and miraculous things from God.
I loved the part where Jim realizes that God is attracted to weakness. Jim said, "I discovered an astonishing truth: God is attracted to weakness. He can't resist those who humbly and honestly admit they desperately need Him." God chooses the foolish things of the world to confound the wise. I have certainly seen this to be true in my life. I am nothing if not weak and foolish. Only God is the reason I wake up to keep the faith and to try things that continually fail. When we pretend, it grieves God's Spirit. He has amazing power. He can not show His power through someone who boasts or is proud. It doesn't work out well for us. If we think we are the reason for success then we will not be able to accept His grace and His gifts. When we humble ourselves God will lift us up- James 4:10. He gives us things we could not have imagined. He wants us to live without anxiety and fear, and being humble brings us closer to that step.
I have told this story before but it never gets old. I have had to depend totally on the Lord and His provision when I was being about to be sued for failing to pay off my loans which had risen to astronomical unrealistic payments. I didn't know what was going to happen. I didn't have a job and I didn't have anything of real value that could be taken. I was living in constant stress and anxiety while trying to nurse a month old baby. I was barely eating so she wasn't doing well either. Through God and MANY prayers (I knew people were praying for me) I was able to step up and went to every bank I could to apply for a personal loan to cover half the loan- that is what they were willing to settle for- the amount was for a little more then $28, 000. I had to humbly ask my mother-in-law to let us borrow from her line of credit ($10,000) and then have her cosign for the rest. It took about a month before we were able to find a bank willing to loan us some money. Every time the phone rang I wanted to throw up, cry, run away, hide, pull out my hair- my heart would leap into my throat- it was the worst feeling. Only God put all the pieces together. Without going through this I might have been tempted to think I could do everything on my own.
God sometimes makes what He will do for us conditional on our hunger for Him because He doesn't want robots serving Him. He wants us to choose to love Him, praise Him, serve Him. If He forced us to love Him it wouldn't be love. "If my people who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sins and I will heal their land." II Chronicles 7:14. God wants us to be aware that we have a CHOICE. We all have a choice.
Prayer is important. God wants to hear from us. When we don't know what to pray the Holy Spirit speaks for us and that is how we can see the Spirit working. As I have gotten older prayer has become harder- not easier. I am not sure why. My prayers are mostly groanings and confusion. When I pray for the church it reminds me of those in need and the Spirit leads me to think of practical ways I can help. I am trusting God to give me opportunities to strengthen my prayer life.
In closing, this is the start of an inspirational story that I think will stick with me. Hopefully I am prepared for the long haul.
Friday, March 24, 2017
A Personal Study with Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire
Get ready! I am starting a 22 day study (so I can be done by Easter) with the book....Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire by Jim Cymbala with Dean Merrill.
I am giving myself 2 days per chapter so hopefully that will be enough. I don't really know what this book is about but I am excited to see where this goes.
I am giving myself 2 days per chapter so hopefully that will be enough. I don't really know what this book is about but I am excited to see where this goes.
Friday, February 3, 2017
Exodus 13-15
"Be Still" Exodus 14:1-31
1. What do you most fear?
I fear basic social interactions. I am afraid of saying the wrong thing and doing the wrong thing. I am afraid of being judged by the small interactions I do have. I also am afraid to share the gospel. I am afraid of losing my security and money.
2. How has your fear caused you to fight or take flight rather than be still and trust God?
I hide from others. I stay home.
3. Take some time to "be still" before the Lord and ask him to deliver you from your fears.
1. What do you most fear?
I fear basic social interactions. I am afraid of saying the wrong thing and doing the wrong thing. I am afraid of being judged by the small interactions I do have. I also am afraid to share the gospel. I am afraid of losing my security and money.
2. How has your fear caused you to fight or take flight rather than be still and trust God?
I hide from others. I stay home.
3. Take some time to "be still" before the Lord and ask him to deliver you from your fears.
Wednesday, February 1, 2017
Exodus 7-9
"Let His People Go!" Exodus 7:1-24
1. How do you see God revealing himself to you as the one true God?
God reveals himself through the nagging feeling that this can't be just an "accident" or "random". We are here for a purpose and God will reveal that purpose.
2. Whom do you look on as God's enemies?
I often see atheists as enemies with God. But the true enemy might be all of us.
3. How can you share God's power in your life with others?
I don't know. My story doesn't feel special but maybe some day if I get to tell it others will see God's power in my life. I am afraid, but I will continue to pray for opportunities to share.
1. How do you see God revealing himself to you as the one true God?
God reveals himself through the nagging feeling that this can't be just an "accident" or "random". We are here for a purpose and God will reveal that purpose.
2. Whom do you look on as God's enemies?
I often see atheists as enemies with God. But the true enemy might be all of us.
3. How can you share God's power in your life with others?
I don't know. My story doesn't feel special but maybe some day if I get to tell it others will see God's power in my life. I am afraid, but I will continue to pray for opportunities to share.
Monday, January 30, 2017
Genesis 48-50 & Exodus 1-3
"A Good Gift from a Good God" Genesis 50:15-21
1. Based on your knowledge of Joseph's life, how often might he have given into fear and worry over the course of his life?
Joseph could have worried when his brothers sold him. He could have worried when he was falsely accused while he was a slave. He could have worried in jail. The text doesn't say he didn't worry or fear. I don't think we can assume that he didn't worry. In the end, Joseph realized God had worked everything out for good and Joseph held so strongly to his beliefs and trust and faith in the Almighty that we might be tempted to think he never doubted. We just don't know.
2. What circumstances are causing you to feel fearful or worried?
I am worried a little bit about the future both for myself and my family but also for the world at large. I have vague plans and my husband's plans change so much it causes me to feel crazy.
3. Spend time with God asking him to use your fears as "the door" through which you can enter your rest, trusting that God will use your present circumstance for your good and his glory.
Dear God, You can use any circumstance for your glory. Help me to walk through the fear of the future into the unknown boldly with You as my Lord and Savior. Only You can know the future and I am your instrument. You are the potter and I am the clay. Make me for your glory. Amen
"Wait and Watch" Exodus 2:1-10
1. Whom are you watching over right now?
I am watching over my children.
2. How does prayer empower you as you wait?
Prayer is communication and praise to the One who made and created everything. It is empowering to know and be able to enter into the presence of God through Jesus.
3. How does this perspective of waiting and watching help you in your own life's story?
Waiting is hard when we wait what we want right now. But if we are patient and continue to serve and read the word time seems to speed up when we focus with what we have on hand. My story is full of stop and goes so I don't know if I can relate to this question or not.
"Availability Check" Exodus 3:1-22
1. In what ways has God indicated he has something for you to do and how have you responded?
The one thing I know God has for me is salvation and I believe with all my heart, mind, soul, and strength in Jesus and the blood He shed for me. I will respond with praise, thanksgiving, and service.
2. Recount a time when you felt inadequate to do something you knew God wanted you to do. How did God equip you to accomplish it?
I guess the one time I felt totally inadequate was when I first became a mom. I cried a lot. Physically I felt horrible and I was still working. God only equip me by letting me go through all that hard stuff. He was patient with me and gracious with me.
3. What interferes with your availability to answer God's call?
I am where God has called me. If anything is interfering then it is part of God's plan- I need to chose to stick with Him when distractions come.
1. Based on your knowledge of Joseph's life, how often might he have given into fear and worry over the course of his life?
Joseph could have worried when his brothers sold him. He could have worried when he was falsely accused while he was a slave. He could have worried in jail. The text doesn't say he didn't worry or fear. I don't think we can assume that he didn't worry. In the end, Joseph realized God had worked everything out for good and Joseph held so strongly to his beliefs and trust and faith in the Almighty that we might be tempted to think he never doubted. We just don't know.
2. What circumstances are causing you to feel fearful or worried?
I am worried a little bit about the future both for myself and my family but also for the world at large. I have vague plans and my husband's plans change so much it causes me to feel crazy.
3. Spend time with God asking him to use your fears as "the door" through which you can enter your rest, trusting that God will use your present circumstance for your good and his glory.
Dear God, You can use any circumstance for your glory. Help me to walk through the fear of the future into the unknown boldly with You as my Lord and Savior. Only You can know the future and I am your instrument. You are the potter and I am the clay. Make me for your glory. Amen
"Wait and Watch" Exodus 2:1-10
1. Whom are you watching over right now?
I am watching over my children.
2. How does prayer empower you as you wait?
Prayer is communication and praise to the One who made and created everything. It is empowering to know and be able to enter into the presence of God through Jesus.
3. How does this perspective of waiting and watching help you in your own life's story?
Waiting is hard when we wait what we want right now. But if we are patient and continue to serve and read the word time seems to speed up when we focus with what we have on hand. My story is full of stop and goes so I don't know if I can relate to this question or not.
"Availability Check" Exodus 3:1-22
1. In what ways has God indicated he has something for you to do and how have you responded?
The one thing I know God has for me is salvation and I believe with all my heart, mind, soul, and strength in Jesus and the blood He shed for me. I will respond with praise, thanksgiving, and service.
2. Recount a time when you felt inadequate to do something you knew God wanted you to do. How did God equip you to accomplish it?
I guess the one time I felt totally inadequate was when I first became a mom. I cried a lot. Physically I felt horrible and I was still working. God only equip me by letting me go through all that hard stuff. He was patient with me and gracious with me.
3. What interferes with your availability to answer God's call?
I am where God has called me. If anything is interfering then it is part of God's plan- I need to chose to stick with Him when distractions come.
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