"Be Still" Exodus 14:1-31
1. What do you most fear?
I fear basic social interactions. I am afraid of saying the wrong thing and doing the wrong thing. I am afraid of being judged by the small interactions I do have. I also am afraid to share the gospel. I am afraid of losing my security and money.
2. How has your fear caused you to fight or take flight rather than be still and trust God?
I hide from others. I stay home.
3. Take some time to "be still" before the Lord and ask him to deliver you from your fears.
Friday, February 3, 2017
Wednesday, February 1, 2017
Exodus 7-9
"Let His People Go!" Exodus 7:1-24
1. How do you see God revealing himself to you as the one true God?
God reveals himself through the nagging feeling that this can't be just an "accident" or "random". We are here for a purpose and God will reveal that purpose.
2. Whom do you look on as God's enemies?
I often see atheists as enemies with God. But the true enemy might be all of us.
3. How can you share God's power in your life with others?
I don't know. My story doesn't feel special but maybe some day if I get to tell it others will see God's power in my life. I am afraid, but I will continue to pray for opportunities to share.
1. How do you see God revealing himself to you as the one true God?
God reveals himself through the nagging feeling that this can't be just an "accident" or "random". We are here for a purpose and God will reveal that purpose.
2. Whom do you look on as God's enemies?
I often see atheists as enemies with God. But the true enemy might be all of us.
3. How can you share God's power in your life with others?
I don't know. My story doesn't feel special but maybe some day if I get to tell it others will see God's power in my life. I am afraid, but I will continue to pray for opportunities to share.
Monday, January 30, 2017
Genesis 48-50 & Exodus 1-3
"A Good Gift from a Good God" Genesis 50:15-21
1. Based on your knowledge of Joseph's life, how often might he have given into fear and worry over the course of his life?
Joseph could have worried when his brothers sold him. He could have worried when he was falsely accused while he was a slave. He could have worried in jail. The text doesn't say he didn't worry or fear. I don't think we can assume that he didn't worry. In the end, Joseph realized God had worked everything out for good and Joseph held so strongly to his beliefs and trust and faith in the Almighty that we might be tempted to think he never doubted. We just don't know.
2. What circumstances are causing you to feel fearful or worried?
I am worried a little bit about the future both for myself and my family but also for the world at large. I have vague plans and my husband's plans change so much it causes me to feel crazy.
3. Spend time with God asking him to use your fears as "the door" through which you can enter your rest, trusting that God will use your present circumstance for your good and his glory.
Dear God, You can use any circumstance for your glory. Help me to walk through the fear of the future into the unknown boldly with You as my Lord and Savior. Only You can know the future and I am your instrument. You are the potter and I am the clay. Make me for your glory. Amen
"Wait and Watch" Exodus 2:1-10
1. Whom are you watching over right now?
I am watching over my children.
2. How does prayer empower you as you wait?
Prayer is communication and praise to the One who made and created everything. It is empowering to know and be able to enter into the presence of God through Jesus.
3. How does this perspective of waiting and watching help you in your own life's story?
Waiting is hard when we wait what we want right now. But if we are patient and continue to serve and read the word time seems to speed up when we focus with what we have on hand. My story is full of stop and goes so I don't know if I can relate to this question or not.
"Availability Check" Exodus 3:1-22
1. In what ways has God indicated he has something for you to do and how have you responded?
The one thing I know God has for me is salvation and I believe with all my heart, mind, soul, and strength in Jesus and the blood He shed for me. I will respond with praise, thanksgiving, and service.
2. Recount a time when you felt inadequate to do something you knew God wanted you to do. How did God equip you to accomplish it?
I guess the one time I felt totally inadequate was when I first became a mom. I cried a lot. Physically I felt horrible and I was still working. God only equip me by letting me go through all that hard stuff. He was patient with me and gracious with me.
3. What interferes with your availability to answer God's call?
I am where God has called me. If anything is interfering then it is part of God's plan- I need to chose to stick with Him when distractions come.
1. Based on your knowledge of Joseph's life, how often might he have given into fear and worry over the course of his life?
Joseph could have worried when his brothers sold him. He could have worried when he was falsely accused while he was a slave. He could have worried in jail. The text doesn't say he didn't worry or fear. I don't think we can assume that he didn't worry. In the end, Joseph realized God had worked everything out for good and Joseph held so strongly to his beliefs and trust and faith in the Almighty that we might be tempted to think he never doubted. We just don't know.
2. What circumstances are causing you to feel fearful or worried?
I am worried a little bit about the future both for myself and my family but also for the world at large. I have vague plans and my husband's plans change so much it causes me to feel crazy.
3. Spend time with God asking him to use your fears as "the door" through which you can enter your rest, trusting that God will use your present circumstance for your good and his glory.
Dear God, You can use any circumstance for your glory. Help me to walk through the fear of the future into the unknown boldly with You as my Lord and Savior. Only You can know the future and I am your instrument. You are the potter and I am the clay. Make me for your glory. Amen
"Wait and Watch" Exodus 2:1-10
1. Whom are you watching over right now?
I am watching over my children.
2. How does prayer empower you as you wait?
Prayer is communication and praise to the One who made and created everything. It is empowering to know and be able to enter into the presence of God through Jesus.
3. How does this perspective of waiting and watching help you in your own life's story?
Waiting is hard when we wait what we want right now. But if we are patient and continue to serve and read the word time seems to speed up when we focus with what we have on hand. My story is full of stop and goes so I don't know if I can relate to this question or not.
"Availability Check" Exodus 3:1-22
1. In what ways has God indicated he has something for you to do and how have you responded?
The one thing I know God has for me is salvation and I believe with all my heart, mind, soul, and strength in Jesus and the blood He shed for me. I will respond with praise, thanksgiving, and service.
2. Recount a time when you felt inadequate to do something you knew God wanted you to do. How did God equip you to accomplish it?
I guess the one time I felt totally inadequate was when I first became a mom. I cried a lot. Physically I felt horrible and I was still working. God only equip me by letting me go through all that hard stuff. He was patient with me and gracious with me.
3. What interferes with your availability to answer God's call?
I am where God has called me. If anything is interfering then it is part of God's plan- I need to chose to stick with Him when distractions come.
Friday, January 27, 2017
Genesis 41-45
"God's Silent Work" Genesis 41:41-57
1. What difficulties have you faced in the past? How did God use those times to shape you?
Praise the Lord I have not faced too many difficulties. My biggest difficulty by far was finding a loan to pay off my creditors. I had just had a new baby. I didn't have a job. I had no idea what I was going to do. There was a lot of prayer and fasting. God used this time to completely depend on Him. And now we are only a couple weeks away from making our final payment on this loan!!!! Hallelujah! It has really shaped me and made me grow up and take responsibility for my choices. I now feel I must warn those entering college without a real plan or someone who really has your back. In fact I would chose against going to college at all if I could do it again.
2. What situations are you currently facing that seem hopeless? How do you see God silently working to get you through them?
I am not facing any hopeless situations right now. I am, of course, facing choices every day, but I am trusting God that I will find an okay job and save enough money to retire. I am recently feeling very selfish so I hope God will provide so that I may be generous with my money and any other resources He gives me. I don't feel special any more and I am okay with that. God will reveal His work in me at the end of time.
3. Sing Fanny Crosby's hymn "To God Be the Glory" as a way of thanking him for working behind the scenes in your life.
1. What difficulties have you faced in the past? How did God use those times to shape you?
Praise the Lord I have not faced too many difficulties. My biggest difficulty by far was finding a loan to pay off my creditors. I had just had a new baby. I didn't have a job. I had no idea what I was going to do. There was a lot of prayer and fasting. God used this time to completely depend on Him. And now we are only a couple weeks away from making our final payment on this loan!!!! Hallelujah! It has really shaped me and made me grow up and take responsibility for my choices. I now feel I must warn those entering college without a real plan or someone who really has your back. In fact I would chose against going to college at all if I could do it again.
2. What situations are you currently facing that seem hopeless? How do you see God silently working to get you through them?
I am not facing any hopeless situations right now. I am, of course, facing choices every day, but I am trusting God that I will find an okay job and save enough money to retire. I am recently feeling very selfish so I hope God will provide so that I may be generous with my money and any other resources He gives me. I don't feel special any more and I am okay with that. God will reveal His work in me at the end of time.
3. Sing Fanny Crosby's hymn "To God Be the Glory" as a way of thanking him for working behind the scenes in your life.
Monday, January 23, 2017
Genesis 32-34
"He Breaks Us to Make Us" Genesis 32:22-32
1. Describe the times you have wandered from God and how you sensed him relentlessly seeking you.
Shortly after college I kinda wandered from God. I just had so many doubts. My faith had grown weak. I don't know if there was a specific event or what exactly led up to it, but it was shortly after that I met my husband. God never let me go very far.
2. How has God broken you physically, emotionally, or spiritually? What was the result?
God has broken me emotionally. I am not strong and He reminds me often to rely on Him. I feel a lot of jealousy and He keeps me in check. He keeps me humble.
3. God is a good shepherd; thank him for his care for you even when you don't always understand his methods.
Thank you, God for your care even went I don't always understand your methods.
"Innocence Lost" Genesis 34:1-31
1. Describe a time when someone abused you either physically, mentally, or emotionally.
There were two very twisted times in college. The first time I felt vulnerable because I didn't have money to buy much food. I don't even really know how to describe it because there was a mixture of consent and then it turned awkward and then very wrong. The guy, I was "helping" clean his house in exchange for food, but there were sexual advances and no defined relationship and then eventually I just tried to get away from him and he made me feel uncomfortable. I had to go into counseling. It was so messed up. I don't think about it or talk about it much for obvious reasons. The second time was a little more clear. I was dating a guy but he turned out to be very pushy and tried to get me to do things I did not want to do. At least he took the hint and left me alone after a little while.
Right now it my life I feel I am being punished for a lot my sexual sin because now I deal with emotional and mental abuse. It isn't extreme but it makes me feel bad about myself and who I am. I don't feel vengeance (well maybe a little in the heat of the moment) or like I "deserve" better...I know God has a plan for where I am at right now.
2. How did it impact not just you but also those around you?
It just makes me feel sick thinking about how I could have handled things better and that in my situation it wasn't totally someone else to blame. I messed up too. The two friends I told very specifically about this have gone (one is totally not even in my life any more and the other one has become an atheist) and I don't know if the first incident had anything to do with our split. Life feels not so black and white after these twisted times.
3. What are God's promises to you that he will forgive you and restore you? Write an exchange prayer, trading in your feelings of pain, sorrow, or loss for the victory of being a believer.
In this situation, I do need to ask for some forgiveness but not all abuse victims need to be "forgiven" so I think this is a weird and poorly worded question. Even if I am not restored in this life in the next I know I will be made like Christ.
Dear God, I exchange all the twisted, messed up sexual sins that have led me to where I am for life in you, hope in you. You will not let me be damaged forever. Amen
1. Describe the times you have wandered from God and how you sensed him relentlessly seeking you.
Shortly after college I kinda wandered from God. I just had so many doubts. My faith had grown weak. I don't know if there was a specific event or what exactly led up to it, but it was shortly after that I met my husband. God never let me go very far.
2. How has God broken you physically, emotionally, or spiritually? What was the result?
God has broken me emotionally. I am not strong and He reminds me often to rely on Him. I feel a lot of jealousy and He keeps me in check. He keeps me humble.
3. God is a good shepherd; thank him for his care for you even when you don't always understand his methods.
Thank you, God for your care even went I don't always understand your methods.
"Innocence Lost" Genesis 34:1-31
1. Describe a time when someone abused you either physically, mentally, or emotionally.
There were two very twisted times in college. The first time I felt vulnerable because I didn't have money to buy much food. I don't even really know how to describe it because there was a mixture of consent and then it turned awkward and then very wrong. The guy, I was "helping" clean his house in exchange for food, but there were sexual advances and no defined relationship and then eventually I just tried to get away from him and he made me feel uncomfortable. I had to go into counseling. It was so messed up. I don't think about it or talk about it much for obvious reasons. The second time was a little more clear. I was dating a guy but he turned out to be very pushy and tried to get me to do things I did not want to do. At least he took the hint and left me alone after a little while.
Right now it my life I feel I am being punished for a lot my sexual sin because now I deal with emotional and mental abuse. It isn't extreme but it makes me feel bad about myself and who I am. I don't feel vengeance (well maybe a little in the heat of the moment) or like I "deserve" better...I know God has a plan for where I am at right now.
2. How did it impact not just you but also those around you?
It just makes me feel sick thinking about how I could have handled things better and that in my situation it wasn't totally someone else to blame. I messed up too. The two friends I told very specifically about this have gone (one is totally not even in my life any more and the other one has become an atheist) and I don't know if the first incident had anything to do with our split. Life feels not so black and white after these twisted times.
3. What are God's promises to you that he will forgive you and restore you? Write an exchange prayer, trading in your feelings of pain, sorrow, or loss for the victory of being a believer.
In this situation, I do need to ask for some forgiveness but not all abuse victims need to be "forgiven" so I think this is a weird and poorly worded question. Even if I am not restored in this life in the next I know I will be made like Christ.
Dear God, I exchange all the twisted, messed up sexual sins that have led me to where I am for life in you, hope in you. You will not let me be damaged forever. Amen
Saturday, January 21, 2017
Genesis 27-29
"Meddling" Genesis 27:1-40
1. When have you meddled your way through a problem instead of waiting on God to solve it? What were the results?
I don't meddle. I have little to no interest in other people's decisions unless they directly hurt or harm me or hurt or harm someone I love. I have gossiped sometimes and that is one sin that has resulted in general dislike and no friends- at least that seems to be the logical conclusion. I am annoyed that people who are "worse" then me have friends, but I take my advice from Pete the Cat "Just keep walking along singing your song, cause it is all good." I don't try to hurt people, I try to understand people and that is where I fail because you basically can't.
2. When have you seen God solve a problem in a way that surprised you?
So far no super surprises from God just normal and amazing generosity- I have had people give us money, we have had programs give us money for Christmas presents when we thought we would have nothing for the kids, and a loan was accepted at a critical time for me. I guess the biggest surprise was the van. We had been praying for that provision and someone gave us the van when we needed it most. I was super grateful but not super surprised because I had been praying for awhile and knew God would provide.
3. What are you waiting on God for now? What will you meditate on rather than meddle in?
I am waiting for God to tell me exactly what to do about life/job/career. I don't want to do anything...well that isn't exactly true....what I want to do is stay home, be a good wife and mother, bake cookies, read stories to the kids, teach them, and "homemake" away, but alas there is a big change coming in September and I have no idea what to do, where to go, who will advice or counsel me, and how this will happen. There will be so much meditating that I will become lazy and do nothing....that is the fear. I bet people would wish I would "meddle", take control of my life, speak up, I don't know- I have so little confidence and so little life experience that my opinions are moot. All I can hear is, "Good luck with that."
"When Morning Comes" Genesis 29:16-30
1. Take a look in the mirror and describe the things you like about yourself.
I like being short. I like being a woman. I like my hair. I like my mind. I like my health. I like my sense of humor. I like how much I care about books and how quirky I am.
2. What don't you like about yourself? Describe some of the things you'd change if you could.
I don't like how I am "overweight" and my boobs are so big. I wish a certain person and the "fashion" industry wouldn't make me feel so bad for hair that grows in places it "apparently" shouldn't- like my arm pits, bikini area, legs, and face.
3. What parts of yourself have you been afraid to show your loved ones (spiritually, emotionally or physically), and why? Take a chance and expose one part you've hidden behind the mask. Ask God to give you the strength to take this step. And ask God to surprise you with how much your loved ones accept the real you.
This is entering dangerous territory. What if the real me doesn't care that I am overweight and can't understand it? I may overeat from time to time (rare) but I can't exactly find the time to exercise and even when I have exercised have seen zero results. What if the real me decides to stop shaving? What if the real me can't stand any form of birth control? Nope, these are things that have not and will not be accepted, and these are just the simple masks. I can't imagine what people would think when they find out how messed up my past was and how I have tried to open up and have been met with, "Okay, well you better sweep that under the rug and hope no one notices the big bump."
Dear God, I don' t know exactly what you want me to do. If I open myself up it is just asking for a lot of pain and tears. I feel as if all I can do is wait. Maybe you can change someone and maybe you don't want to change someone just to teach me something. God, go ahead, surprise me. Show me someone who I can open up to. I have asked this a number of times and things have pretty much stayed the same so I don't expect much of a miracle, but maybe this time will be different? I can really identify with Leah. I hope I am doing what you want me to do and I am learning what you want me to learn. Amen.
1. When have you meddled your way through a problem instead of waiting on God to solve it? What were the results?
I don't meddle. I have little to no interest in other people's decisions unless they directly hurt or harm me or hurt or harm someone I love. I have gossiped sometimes and that is one sin that has resulted in general dislike and no friends- at least that seems to be the logical conclusion. I am annoyed that people who are "worse" then me have friends, but I take my advice from Pete the Cat "Just keep walking along singing your song, cause it is all good." I don't try to hurt people, I try to understand people and that is where I fail because you basically can't.
2. When have you seen God solve a problem in a way that surprised you?
So far no super surprises from God just normal and amazing generosity- I have had people give us money, we have had programs give us money for Christmas presents when we thought we would have nothing for the kids, and a loan was accepted at a critical time for me. I guess the biggest surprise was the van. We had been praying for that provision and someone gave us the van when we needed it most. I was super grateful but not super surprised because I had been praying for awhile and knew God would provide.
3. What are you waiting on God for now? What will you meditate on rather than meddle in?
I am waiting for God to tell me exactly what to do about life/job/career. I don't want to do anything...well that isn't exactly true....what I want to do is stay home, be a good wife and mother, bake cookies, read stories to the kids, teach them, and "homemake" away, but alas there is a big change coming in September and I have no idea what to do, where to go, who will advice or counsel me, and how this will happen. There will be so much meditating that I will become lazy and do nothing....that is the fear. I bet people would wish I would "meddle", take control of my life, speak up, I don't know- I have so little confidence and so little life experience that my opinions are moot. All I can hear is, "Good luck with that."
"When Morning Comes" Genesis 29:16-30
1. Take a look in the mirror and describe the things you like about yourself.
I like being short. I like being a woman. I like my hair. I like my mind. I like my health. I like my sense of humor. I like how much I care about books and how quirky I am.
2. What don't you like about yourself? Describe some of the things you'd change if you could.
I don't like how I am "overweight" and my boobs are so big. I wish a certain person and the "fashion" industry wouldn't make me feel so bad for hair that grows in places it "apparently" shouldn't- like my arm pits, bikini area, legs, and face.
3. What parts of yourself have you been afraid to show your loved ones (spiritually, emotionally or physically), and why? Take a chance and expose one part you've hidden behind the mask. Ask God to give you the strength to take this step. And ask God to surprise you with how much your loved ones accept the real you.
This is entering dangerous territory. What if the real me doesn't care that I am overweight and can't understand it? I may overeat from time to time (rare) but I can't exactly find the time to exercise and even when I have exercised have seen zero results. What if the real me decides to stop shaving? What if the real me can't stand any form of birth control? Nope, these are things that have not and will not be accepted, and these are just the simple masks. I can't imagine what people would think when they find out how messed up my past was and how I have tried to open up and have been met with, "Okay, well you better sweep that under the rug and hope no one notices the big bump."
Dear God, I don' t know exactly what you want me to do. If I open myself up it is just asking for a lot of pain and tears. I feel as if all I can do is wait. Maybe you can change someone and maybe you don't want to change someone just to teach me something. God, go ahead, surprise me. Show me someone who I can open up to. I have asked this a number of times and things have pretty much stayed the same so I don't expect much of a miracle, but maybe this time will be different? I can really identify with Leah. I hope I am doing what you want me to do and I am learning what you want me to learn. Amen.
Thursday, January 19, 2017
Genesis 22-24
"Making Hard Choices" Genesis 24:1-67
1. What hard choice is confronting you today?
Today I don't have HARD choices just every day annoying ones. What chores should I do today? What can I let slide today? What should I eat today that will not make me morbidly obese? Should I wake up the little ones or just bask in the silence? But I guess when it comes to me every choice is hard- even all these small dumb choices.
2. What factors make your decision difficult?
The factors that make my decisions difficult is usually my mood. If I am in the right frame of mind and prepared I feel I can make even very difficult decisions. If I am given plenty of time to think about it and possibly seek council and prayer then it is not so difficult. Also I tend to over think things so any decision ends up being difficult.
3. How is God asking you to trust him in this situation? Will you obey him?
There is one situation (not really my choice) that I need to trust him. I need to trust that sending my children to public school is ultimately obeying my husband's wish, no matter how it turns out. I will obey, but I will still feel a little worried. I am not too worried about the kids so much as I am worried about myself- which is worse because now it seems like I am a really selfish person. I have very little direction because I don't have a "career" mind. I just want to get through life with as little bumps and bruises along the way. I don't have any ambition or confidence in myself. That is where I need to trust God and I feel like I know myself well enough to know this isn't going to turn out so well, but we will have to wait and see.
1. What hard choice is confronting you today?
Today I don't have HARD choices just every day annoying ones. What chores should I do today? What can I let slide today? What should I eat today that will not make me morbidly obese? Should I wake up the little ones or just bask in the silence? But I guess when it comes to me every choice is hard- even all these small dumb choices.
2. What factors make your decision difficult?
The factors that make my decisions difficult is usually my mood. If I am in the right frame of mind and prepared I feel I can make even very difficult decisions. If I am given plenty of time to think about it and possibly seek council and prayer then it is not so difficult. Also I tend to over think things so any decision ends up being difficult.
3. How is God asking you to trust him in this situation? Will you obey him?
There is one situation (not really my choice) that I need to trust him. I need to trust that sending my children to public school is ultimately obeying my husband's wish, no matter how it turns out. I will obey, but I will still feel a little worried. I am not too worried about the kids so much as I am worried about myself- which is worse because now it seems like I am a really selfish person. I have very little direction because I don't have a "career" mind. I just want to get through life with as little bumps and bruises along the way. I don't have any ambition or confidence in myself. That is where I need to trust God and I feel like I know myself well enough to know this isn't going to turn out so well, but we will have to wait and see.
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